Topic: Having Harmony in Marriage through the Word of God.
Text: Ephesians 5:25-33
Biblical harmony is a hermeneutic method of analyzing parallel and often disparate narratives in the Bible. They are used to try to resolve apparent conflicts in the text and demonstrate that they together form a coherent text.
What is marriage?
Marriage is the intimate relationship and equal partnership between a man and a woman. It comes to us from the hand of God, who created man and woman in his own image, so that they can become one body, be fertile and multiply (According to Genesis Chapters 1 and 2 of the genesis).
In every marriage, the spouses make a contract with each other but in a sacramental marriage where the couple also enters into a covenant in which their love is sealed and strengthened by God’s love.
Harmony at home is one of the greatest blessings of life. It is also one of the easiest blessings to lose if we do not make the decision to do everything in our power to maintain our marital relationship. If couples made as much effort to work on their relationship after marriage as they do before marriage, there would be no more divorce.
From the Scriptures you can learn the proper attitude about marriage: “Let marriage be held in honour (esteemed worthy, precious, that is, of great price and especially dear) in all things. And thus let the marriage bed be undefiled (kept not dishonoured); for God will judge and punish the unchaste (all guilty of sexual vice) and adulterous” (Hebrews 13:4, The Amplified Bible).
We must learn from the Word of God how to live in harmony with one another. If we do not do what it takes to live in harmony, we choose to live in the destructive arena of conflict.
When God celebrated the first wedding ceremony, he examined the union of this first couple and described it as “very good!” Adam and Eve lived in perfect harmony with each other. They did not fight to know who was in charge and who would manage each time.
They simply loved and respected each other. They delighted each other and made their decisions together, each desiring to please the other.
Then sin entered the image. A power struggle began to darken each marriage with the husband trying to dominate him and his wife and the one trying to manipulate and control her husband. Perfect harmony has been lost and married couples have been struggling since.
The dispute is deadly. This opens the door to the devil to steal, kill and destroy our family life. Whenever we are in conflict, we give the devil permission to take us captive – at his will.
II Timothy 2: 24-26 says, “And the servant of the Lord must not fight; but be gentle to all men, able to teach, patient, gently teaching those who oppose; if God can give them repentance to acknowledge the truth; And so that they can get out of the trap of the devil, who is taken prisoner by him at his will.”
Conflict gives the devil the upper hand! Through the scriptures, God warns us against the danger of conflict. Yet, it is still one of the most common problems among believers. Of course, we do not leave it intentionally. We do not get up in the morning to say, “I think I’m going to cause a major conflict at home today.” We just inadvertently left him – a minor irritation at a time.
If you tend to let things irritate you, then decide to overcome this trend. Take a stand against these small opportunities for conflict. If you have spent your life having feathers ruffled by everything, you may need some time to get rid of this habit, but you can do it. You may have to work one moment at a time, but when you do, you will be in a place where God can guide you and save you from some serious mistakes.
Conflict feeds on selfishness. And one of the easiest places to stay selfish is with those who are most dear to you, at home. Being in front of others is often an additional incentive to act with love. You can be nicer and more courteous to your friends and acquaintances than to your own family. At home with your family, the temptation may come to allow selfish privileges that promote discord – as if selfishness had no consequence at home. You may find yourself saying things to your loved ones that you would not dream of telling anyone else. Reckless and hurtful words to our spouse or children can prepare us for conflict-ridden family life.
Now the question is: how can we restore harmony in the house? How can we bring true peace to the conjugal relationship? How can we learn to really enjoy our relationship without worrying about who is in charge? Well, turn your Bible with me to Ephesians 5, where the Bible tells us how we can have harmony at home.
Ephesians 5:21 says to submit oneself to one another out of respect for Christ.
If we want harmony at home, we must learn to submit to each other.
The husband and wife must show deference to each other. They must put themselves first. Literally, they must both rank themselves below the other. The word “submit” is primarily a military term which means “to rank under”.
When the woman looks at her husband as her captain, AND when the husband looks at his wife as his captain, there is harmony in the house. We are talking here about a MUTUAL SUBMISSION incumbent on both the husband and the wife. EACH is to place the interests of the other above his own interests. That’s what brings them together.
So, How Can We Stop Conflicts in Marriage?
We do this by going to the Word of God to seek wisdom in the resolution of disputes. The wisdom from above is peace, loving and easily implored, ready to yield to reason.
1. A husband and his wife will see things differently, but if they are both committed to the Word, conflicts cannot exist. If each of them walks in love and gives first place to the Word of God in his life (instead of selfish desires), Satan will have no basis to bring discord and division. Allowing the Word of God to be the final authority in the resolution of disputes will relieve everyone and restore harmony in your home.
2. A Christian husband and wife who learn to live and pray in harmony are powerful instruments of the Lord Jesus. When they agree and pray together for something, it will come true (Matthew 18:19). The reward of living in harmony and supporting one another with prayer is worth more than the effort needed to walk in love with each other.
Do not let the devil fool you. As soon as you realize that Satan is trying to move you into a conflict zone, stop him immediately with the Name of Jesus. Learn to resist conflict just as you have learned to resist sin and sickness.
The Word says, “Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory…” (Philippians 2:3). Obey God’s Word and be free from Satan’s evil works.